Sports are a big piece of life with kids for many families and have been for generations. Sports not only keep kids busy & active but they also play a role in building self-esteem, developing & improving physical skills, improving social skills, goal setting skills, and teaching perseverance. A big part of teaching all those wonderful skills comes from an exceptional coach. Coaches either build a child's hopes & dreams for the sport or they crush them, whether the coach realizes it or not. Unfortunately not all coaches are "exceptional", and your child misses a great opportunity to enhance their skills. My guess is that's not what you put your kids in sports for. You want them to learn skills, and have fun.
Coaches need to have certain characteristics, and parents should be watching for certain characteristics in their child's coach. I used to think you just sign up for the sport your child is showing an interest in and that's it. I soon learned it's best to "access" the coach before you just sign them up. Of course the coach ( or one of the assistant coaches) will most likely be a dad of a player on the team, but that doesn't necessarily mean they shouldn't be coaching. I actually think almost anyone can be a good coach. What is important to know & look for in a coach? Coaches need to be a positive role model, children look up to their coaches and will most likely act like their coach at times, it's how they learn to react at games and in many situations. What else does a outstanding coach "need"?:
- Appropriate sportsmanship
- Knowledge on the sport ( no they don't need to be a walking encyclopedia on the sport, but at least some knowledge on the sport)
- Treats ALL players with respect
- Has a general understanding of child's physical development ( strength, flexibility, coordination, balance)
- Knows how to prevent and quickly access injuries
- Uses positive verbal communication
- Shows empathy
- Exhibits patience
- Understands how to set goals with children
- Spends time with children helping them succeed ( This includes one-on-one help when needed)
A coach that has the ability to retain a positive attitude will help children to keep a positive attitude towards their coach(es), their teammates, the sport, and it even leads into positive attitudes in everyday life.
Coaches need to know the importance of being a positive role model to their team. Sometimes coaches need a reality check to remember:
- Children are new to these skills, They haven't been playing 10 years like you may have.
- Not all children are the same, Some learn & comprehend slower then others.
- Some of the kids "won't get you", you maybe trying to help them but they might see you as being mean to them & get upset
- You're teaching the basics, basics first then lead into the more complex stuff slowly
- Winning is NOT the only thing, yes winning is great but it is not the only thing
- ALL children have potential
- Remember the difference between projecting your voice and yelling
- You need to keep things positive, simple, & clear
- Kids don't just know the lingo, signs, and rules of the game. That's why you are teaching them.
- Keep meetings brief, no rambling on for 20 minutes.
- THIS ISN'T MAJOR LEAGUE, this is kids learning a sport, that has to come first.
I know in the coaching position you will at times have to be "negative" and tell kids they are doing something wrong, but there is a difference between criticism ( aka destructive) and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. There is a great difference between saying " NO THAT'S NOT HOW YOU CATCH A BALL!" & Don't catch the ball like that, you may get hurt ( if that be the case), when you catch the ball catch it with your fingers up ( if that's the case for the particular sport & lesson). When giving constructive criticism you are helping to construct the skill. You need to tell them what's wrong and suggest how it could be done better, in a positive tone. If you were to use the first phrase and simply yell "that's not how you catch a ball" your not helping anyone, for all we know the child is thinking " I don't know how else to catch a ball, what do you mean that's not how to catch a ball, I caught it right?".
How else can we figure out if the coach isn't right for the team/ your child? Watch for warning signs like these before games, at games, after games, also practises.
- Coach is unorganized ( Do they have roster sheets ready for games?, do they know where certain equipment is, what about your child's name or what they need to work on?)
- Focused on their future, not your children's
- Language ( Swearing, etc)
- Poor Communication with team, as well as parents
- Not enthusiastic
- Clearly has a favorite or two
- Isolates child from the team
- Disrespectful
- Always focusing on the negative ( rarely tells the children when they are doing good, only when they are ding bad)
- Your child doesn't want to go to the game or practise ( Especially if this is a sport they begged you to play, and of course if they are in good health and there isn't another reason why they wouldn't want to go)
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